WOW a year ago I was getting ready to push as Hunter, my father-in-law, mom, dad, and I anxiously waited to meet our little miracle. There was so much known. Up until this point I was able to keep Christian safe, but after he was born, I no longer could protect him. He came out within 15 minutes and was perfect. I loved him so much as soon as I saw him. I could not imagine a life without him in it. The realization set in that I might not get to watch him grow up. Christian was immediately taken 30 miles away to a different hospital. So I got to meet this amazing little person and then he was taken away from me. It was awful. I remember crying myself to sleep that night. I was so worried. I wanted him to be healthy. I remember that night like it was yesterday. My mom was sleeping on a pullout bed in my recovery room. I couldn’t sleep, I laid there crying and pleading with God. I wanted Christian to be completely healed. It was so hard being away from someone you carried for 9 months. I briefly got to hold him before he was swept up to the ICU before being transported, but that brief minute wasn’t enough. It was heartbreaking.
In one year I have never felt so much pain, frustration, and exhaustion as I did this past year, but I have also never felt so much love, joy, or complete happiness. This year was known, we did not know if we would even get to celebrate a 1st birthday. Now Christian is 1 and I am just in awe of where the year went. It has been such a whirlwind. We have had ups and we have had downs, but this little one year old has taught me more in one year than I have learned in my 28 ½ years of life. I have learned that things can always be worse. I have learned that children are resilient. I have learned that I can be strong, especially if strong is the only option I have. I have learned that God has a plan even if it is not exactly the plan I would want, His plan is so much better. I have learned that when given trials, it is not until we completely give it to God that He will intervene. Sometimes He makes us hit rock bottom so that we realize we need him to lift us out.
I get to be the mother to a superhero. Christian has been through so much in 1 short year than many have been in their lifetime, but that has not changed him a bit. He is a little amazing miracle that brings joy and happiness, not just to his family, but to many others that follow his story. He has a personality that can melt the heart of the Grinch. He is amazing which does not even begin to describe just how wonderful this little boy is.
During this holiday season remember it is not the presents or getting the best deals. It is about being with family and enjoying every minute with them. Don’t look at the negative, instead count your blessings. Remember God has a plan for your life just like He did for Christian.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTIAN MATTHEW!!!! WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!